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Calories are afraid of heights<\/strong>. If you put your food in a high place, such as on top of the fridge, the calories will get scared and jump out. This is best facilitated by giving them a ramp or ladder to climb down from. Calories are small, with hundreds of them fitting into a single cookie, so even a piece of thread looks like a grand staircase to them. They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll have no trouble making their way down if they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re scared enough of being up high. Even if they have to jump. They hate heights that much, and do not have logical responses to stressful situations. <\/p>\n A corollary to this is that food in low places may collect the fleeing calories from the food in high places. This is why even when you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re following your diet and only eating the lettuce in the crisper drawer of your fridge, you always seems to gain weight anyway. The calories from your butter have snuck down there! Lettuce, by the way, is secretly evil. Under controlled lab conditions, it presents itself as largely free of calories, hardly associating with them at all. But out in the wild real world, lettuce readily aligns itself with calories, harbouring them and building them up within its nested leaves as some kind of highly fortified barracks, turning those mindless loitering calories into a highly trained force to be handled with extreme caution and delicacy.<\/p>\n Calories have weak grips<\/strong>. If you shake your food before you eat it, you can loosen up the calories and even shake some out entirely! They can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t hold on to the delicious food with their weak grips, and will fly away. A good way to facilitate this is to break your food in half: the calories will just come pouring out! Combine this tip with the previous one, and shake your food above your head — just watch out for crumbs and sloshing.<\/p>\n Calories go on vacation<\/strong>. They don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to work at making you fat any more than you want to work on TPS reports when on vacation. Take them out for a nice trip by the river, and lay out a picnic under a shady tree. Who can think of work in situations like that?<\/p>\n