New Year’s

December 31st, 2005 by Potato

The parched soil scrapes and crunches beneath my hands as I pull myself up on the ledge and catch my breath from the climb. I look solemnly at the grity ground swelling around my fingers, afraid to look up to see how much further this cliff rises. Knowing I cannot delay forever, I lift my gaze to find to my great surprise that the land has levelled off.

This is the end then; I’m out of the pit.

I take off my shoes and dig my toes into the ground, playing with pebbles to distract myself from reality. It’s overwhelming to think about, after over a year spent in that hellish place. Part of me fears I’ve gone mad, inventing hope where none existed before.

A moment, at least, I can spare to reminisce. So much pain that year, and so much hard work wasted on dead ends. I’ve accumulated a lot of scars from the experience, not the least of which is the damage done to my stubborn pride. It’s clear that I’m not the man I was before I was lost there, a change that I’m sure must be apparent on my face — not that I’ve seen a mirror for a year. Sadly, I doubt the changes were for the better.

I sigh and put my shoes on. Time to move forward. My knees crack as I rise, and I doubt I’ll ever again stand my full height, with my back twisted and hunched. I try to survey the plains before me, but find that I can’t pick out any discernable features: the landscape has been plunged deep into shadow by what I’ve left behind. Definitely flatter though, of that I’m sure.

Perhaps that’s better, I think to myself: small hope seems more real, and I almost feel greedy for wishing that these trials were over all ready.

Not knowing for sure what lay ahead, only that it couldn’t be worse than what I had been through, I plunge ahead into the darkness three steps before halting. Already the dry, caked earth is not so harsh and unrelenting; no longer seeming to resist my every step with a malevolent purpose and infinite patience. My spirit soars again, and I spare just one more moment to turn and spit in the gorge.

I don’t bother to wait for it to land.

Happy New Year’s Eve, everyone!