October 29th, 2008 by Potato

“What the fuck is this shit?!!!” I exclaimed as I woke up and saw the weather. Three inches of wet, heavy snow.

In October.

There were a great many trees that still had their leaves — many of which were still green when we got hit with this snowfall. With all that extra foliage to hold onto falling snow, there was a lot of damage from fallen trees and branches. We look to have lost the small lilac bush in our front yard. Plus, the power was out for about 2 hours last night.

This is insane, heavy snow before Halloween. I can recall a few flurries in past Octobers, but this is the first time in my life that there’s been heavy snow on the ground before the leaves have even finished changing. I suppose there are a number of factors underlying this weather insanity. Global weirding is probably one culprit.

But I think the largest part of the blame belongs to Shoppers Drug Mart & Zellers. I went there last week, and was greeted by a wall of wrapping paper and bows. That’s Christmas stuff. Christmas, as in, the holiday at the end of December. This is October, and there are but three allowed holidays to consider: Thanksgiving, “harvest”, and Halloween. Halloween is, of course, the biggest, best, and last of these. It’s one of the most commercial, with the coolest props and the best candy. Some stores (i.e.: costume stores) stay in business just due to what they manage to sell for Halloween. It’s also an ancient and magical holiday that deserves our respect and reverence, because otherwise it will mess us up.

So when Halloween sees shit going down like Zellers putting out their Christmas shit early, and Shoppers Drug Mart taking away the candy, before Halloween has had its night, it gets — to put it mildly — uppity. “You want some Christmas shit?” the vulgar, drunken spirit of Halloween asks. “Here, have yourself a merry little white Christmas, you winter-loving assholes.”

And we get snow.

2 Responses to “Snowfall”

  1. Ben Says:

    I saw a headline last week about how Canadian retailers were getting a jump on the xmas season since they’re predicting it to be the worst one in 20+ years. I guess they were serious. Although I remember going to Wal-Mart last year around Oct. 30-31 hoping to score some deals on various Hallowe’en paraphernalia at discounted prices, only to find out that the Hallowe’en section had already been cleared out and replaced with xmas junk! I’m going to try tomorrow here in Oregon and see if it’s the same story…

  2. moneygardener Says:

    Very funny post! I agree it’s annoying as hell